WASHINGTON—Insisting that he had accomplished practically every part proper this time, Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg reportedly failed his third consecutive driver’s check Monday. “It’s sort of bullshit, as a result of it was actually solely the parallel parking half that I screwed up,” stated Buttigieg, describing how he at all times started to freeze up and panic throughout that part of the examination as he tried to recollect precisely how one can find ten and two o’clock on the wheel. “Additionally, not for nothing, however I’ve gotten Hank as my teacher the final two occasions, and he’s a complete piece of shit. He stated I rolled by means of a cease signal, and that’s not true. He’s only a jerk. I additionally barely grazed that automotive. It’s insane that he will get to manage these items, as a result of he’s clearly blind. Goddammit, now I’ve to return to the Division of Transportation and stare everybody down. All of them act like huge pictures as a result of they acquired their licenses.” At press time, sources confirmed the visibly glum transportation secretary was telling his husband to “simply shut up” after Chasten Buttigieg picked him up from the DMV and stated he’d undoubtedly go subsequent time.