WASHINGTON—In an more and more uncommon bipartisan act, the U.S. Flag Code was reportedly up to date Tuesday to state that the American flag has the ability to grant needs. “The American flag is greater than a logo of our freedom—it’s an all-powerful entity that may make your wildest goals come true,” mentioned Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH), who coauthored the invoice that handed each chambers of Congress unanimously and was signed into legislation by President Joe Biden, noting that every one one needed to do to make a want on the flag was to place one hand over their coronary heart, take away their hat, and forged their gaze upwards at its magnificent stars and stripes whereas reciting the magic phrases. “At a time when respect for the American flag is at an all time low, we wished to codify its extraordinary supernatural skills. Use warning, in fact, for every American flag solely has 50 needs, and as soon as the final of the 50 stars has disappeared, effectively. Your needs are gone.” At press time, the White Home had issued a press release asking People to cease wishing for slavery to come back again.