Home Humor The Aussie Language – It’s BROKEN!!!

The Aussie Language – It’s BROKEN!!!

The Aussie Language – It’s BROKEN!!!


The Australian language is an incredible and distinctive factor. The Australian language is not like every other on this planet. As I defined to my pal’s son final Thursday. As we sat across the café desk ready for our lunch to reach, he publicizes to the group…

“Pleased Australia day.”

Instantly I needed to right him, “Nah, Nah, Nah. It’s not Australia Day. Its Stralia day, the Au is silent like how the okay is silent data, or knee”.

“Ustralia Day.”

“Stralia Day.”

“U-ssstralia day.”

“Stralia day!” After a few minutes, he was saying it like a professional. “To talk and perceive correct Australian you should be taught the fundamental guidelines. All the pieces could be shortened, and sentences develop into one phrase.” I defined.

“Huh?” He was clearly confused.

“As Carl Baron stated after we say whats up we don’t simply say Hello, no we sometimes say… G’daymatehowyagoin? See it’s a single phrase.” He simply stared at me blankly, I had misplaced him. I actually get pleasure from imparting my knowledge on sudden youths.

However it’s not simply what we are saying but in addition what it means. Till in the present day I had by no means actually considered it. My again has been taking part in up over the past week, so this morning I bought up and went for a therapeutic massage. Sometimes, I at all times go to the identical place, and see the identical particular person. They know me there, she is aware of me. However this morning she wasn’t there. When the lady on the entrance desk instructed me, I stated  the person filling in for her could be high-quality.

She took me by the door, we turned left into the room, she steps a facet for me to stroll in. The basket for all my belongs was positioned on the mattress. “Take all the pieces besides your underwear off, together with your necklace and put them within the basket.” I nod and she or he leaves the room, closing the door behind her.

As soon as the door is correctly closed I do precisely what she had instructed. Eradicating my necklace first, I struggled with the clasp and it took longer than often. I then begin undressing, eradicating my sneakers, socks, taking off my shirt and folding it earlier than I put it within the basket, then my shorts which I additionally fold, and so forth.

Knock, knock, knock three quick knocks on the closed sliding door adopted by. “Prepared?” a mans voice calls from behind the closed door.

Standing subsequent to the mattress in solely my underwear I name again. “Yeah…Nah.”  The door instantly slides open. Our eyes instantly lock. He then appears down my physique, then again to my eyes, all occurring inside milliseconds. It takes him lower than a second to understand that I wasn’t prepared for him to stroll within the room, and I used to be standing subsequent to the mattress not laying on the mattress in solely my underwear. Trying again at him, like a surprised mullet little question. He cheeks instantly flip learn.

“Agggh!” I squeal as I soar in the direction of the mattress in a determined try to cowl my virtually bare physique. I miss the mattress my chest hitting the arduous picket facet, there was little safety between the wooden and my chest, no buffer, my chest stings from the affect. I ricochet off the wooden, bouncing backwards into the wall. In semi squat place on the wall, I attempt to cowl my modesty with my arm. He thinks about approaching as he takes a step in the direction of me. Whereas his foot is in mid-air, I maintain up my hand stopping him. Aid floods his face, he activates his heels and he leaves the room closing the door behind him.

I rub the heel of my hand in the course of my chest to sooth the sting. Mortified that I had simply given the aged masseuse a coronary heart assault . I take a second to catch my breath and never die of embarrassment. After thirty seconds the stinging was gone and I had regained my composure. I rise up straight stroll over to the mattress, mendacity flat on my abdomen taking my place, putting my face within the designated gap.

Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock. 4 a lot slower knocks this time. “Prepared?” he calls.

“Prepared.” The door doesn’t open. “Sure, I’m prepared.” I name out slightly louder than earlier than. The door slides open and he walks into the room his head down, staring on the flooring too afraid to lookup I anticipate in concern of what he may even see.

By midway by all was virtually forgotten, I used to be stress-free. When he asks, “Stress good?”

“Nah, yeah!” Shit! I knew I had accomplished it once more and was about to confuse the man.

“No?” Yep, he was actually confused.

“No, it’s good.”

“No? No good?”

“Sure, it’s good?” I say reinforcing the message with a double thumbs up. Since my verbal communication abilities had been missing in the present day and clearly wanted visible aides as help.

On the finish of the therapeutic massage, he saved his head down, and scurred out of the room avoiding all eye contact with me closing the door behind him. I waited a minute earlier than climbing off the desk, with the intention to keep away from any unintended walkin’s whereas I stood there almost bare once more.

Later whereas speaking to my closest mates, I instructed them what had occurred. “Oh Cass. Actually?”

“Properly, it’s not my fault. It’s the rattling Aussie language.”

“You actually confused the man, didn’t you?”

“Properly, sure, I did however not on objective. The poor man actually bought greater than he bargained for with me. However it’s a very good lesson he learnt.”

“How do you work.”

“I used to be instructing him to talk Australian.”

“Against English.”

“Sure. Australian is its personal distinctive and fantastic language.”

“No, no. What you had been instructing him is to talk ‘Cassie’ which nobody understands- like in any respect. And also you simply confused him much more.”  



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