Home Humor Solely You Cass! – It’s BROKEN!!!

Solely You Cass! – It’s BROKEN!!!

Solely You Cass! – It’s BROKEN!!!


Now those that know me, know that I don’t have nice stability, and is usually a ‘little’ accident pron. Nonetheless with each of this stuff, I like to go paddle boarding. I’m not nice at it, however I do find it irresistible and have gone frequently during the last 4 years. I did assume by now that I’d be a bit higher than I’m, regardless that I’ve managed to face a complete of 10 occasions during the last 4 years. That being stated I do like to share it with my family and friends.

With all the beautiful heat climate we’ve had during the last week or so, I took mates paddle boarding on Thursday and Sunday. Thursday I used to be tremendous excited, it was one thing I had been eager to do for some time.   

Final Thursday the group of mates I took paddle boarding, had by no means actually been earlier than, aside from a few individuals who had accomplished it a few times. I however, have six boards and go each summer season. So, if anybody within the group ought to know what they had been doing it was me. I used to be quietly assured that after I had gone paddle boarding for the final 4 summers, I’d be capable of stand with out a difficulty. And assured that I’d barely fall in. Let’s face it I used to be principally an ‘professional’.

Now my mates didn’t share in my confidence, one among them jogged my memory, “You already know the primary rule Cass? The extra assured you might be…” Sure, I knew the rule he was referring too, and it didn’t have to be to be repeated.  

We arrive at Toowoon Bay at 7.45am with the remainder of the Central Coast and all of the vacationers visiting the Central Coast- effectively that’s what it felt like. Inside half an hour, we had purchased all the pieces from the automotive right down to the seaside and had arrange our web site. Full with an prompt seaside tent. Which was something however prompt. And after twenty minutes or so it was lastly arrange after a few false begins. I could’ve set it up, the wrong way up to start out with. However I did ultimately determine it out. By the point everybody arrived the tents are arrange. Gladys was already within the water and the remainder of us had been eager to hitch her.

All of us take turns at paddle boarding, beginning on our knees earlier than making an attempt to face. A few us had been capable of stand, not that we received very far. Some do the stationary operating man, you recognize like if you slip on ice or a slippery a part of the ground. Your legs fly out from below you, and also you hop/ run on the spot, hopping between one leg and the opposite as you attempt to preserve stability. Typically the stationary operating man was now not stationary and in a determined try to remain balanced and up proper, they ran proper off the again of the board. Very very similar to a reverse strolling the plank. Whereas others didn’t know they had been falling, so would both fall within the water mid-sentence- I’d not suggest this. Or sliding down the entrance of the board into the water on our stomachs like we’re the newest attraction at Sea World.

I secretly anticipated to be superb at it. Standing with no situation. Hoping to shock the pants off everybody with how ‘superb’ I used to be. It didn’t precisely go as deliberate. I wished to show how good I used to be not solely to myself however my mates. After one among my mates did a lot better than me, and fell off lower than me I resolve to problem him to type of like a paddle off, to see which one among us may stand the longest. Now in hindsight most likely not my finest thought of the day, since his stability was much better than mine. And I had spent extra time falling within the water than standing on the board. However nonetheless I used to be assured with 4 years of expertise and standing at the least ten occasions I’d win.  

We each kneel on our boards and paddle out previous the break water to the calmer flatter water. Once we each attain the half the place the water was the flattest, we each attempt to stand. He stands, however then his ft begin to wobble below him, and he does the jig as he tries to remain up proper. He struggles to keep up his stability and does his finest interpretation of the operating man, operating down the again of the board.  He hops on one leg, then the opposite he was taking part in get up paddle board hopscotch by the look of it. Subsequent minute… SPLASH! He was in.

Now I felt tremendous assured. Subsequent factor a wave hits my board on the entrance, I lose my stability, because the wave sends me rolling off the again of the board. My legs go over my head and I full an ideal roll, then one other. SPLASH! I used to be in… however not totally in, no. My left arm was caught on one thing I attempt to transfer it, no good. My swim prime was being pulled round, I attempt to transfer once more however no luck. I really feel the strap of my prime pulling. It was caught on one thing. However what? I try to have a look at it, spinning in a semi-circle. I begin to fear that my strap was going to interrupt, and I must paddle all the way in which again to the shore with no prime on. How embarrassing.  

Utilizing my proper hand, I attain over my left shoulder to the board making an attempt to really feel what it was caught on… My strap had in some way managed to get hooked on the ‘flat’ cap. Instantly my life flashes earlier than my eyes, what if I drown like this? I can simply see the headline, ‘A lady in her thirties has drowned at Toowoon Bay in the present day. Solely sporting her bikini bottoms.’ I begin to panic, I flop round swing my left arm, after which my proper making an attempt to interrupt free. I then panic that I’m going to draw a shark, considering I used to be a straightforward meal, mistaking me as a sea animal in bother. I urge myself to settle down, and splash much less when making an attempt to get free.

My buddy is conscious of me struggling, “Cass! Are you alright?” He begins to paddle in direction of me.

Holding up my proper hand, “Sure. However keep proper there. My prime is caught.”

“Your prime is caught? On what?”

“The cap of the board.”


“I don’t understand how nevertheless it simply is.” I attain my proper hand over the cap feeling for my strap. I felt it, I unhook it from the place it was snagged, earlier than twisting my prime within the rightful place. I catch my breath and climb again on the board.


“See what?”

“Because of this you need to put on your rashy. It wouldn’t have occurred if you happen to had been in your rashy.”

“No, you’re proper. My strap wouldn’t have gotten caught. It could be my collar and I’d have chocked to dying as an alternative.”

“Solely you Cass!”

On Sunday I took Claire Bear again to Toowoon bay to go paddle boarding, this time we solely took one inflatable board, and one arduous board. Since I used to be utilizing the hardboard I used to be sure I’d don’t have any situation standing. Positive after a few false begins, and falling off the board in sympathy for Claire Bear I had my confidence again, and was standing no situation. I paddle round for what felt like ten minutes, Claire bear later informed me it was a couple of minute. I’m not so positive about her means to inform time?  

There I used to be paddling confidently like an expert, after I accidently catch a wave. The wave begins carrying me in direction of the shore, a lot sooner than I would love. I attempt to paddle nevertheless it was pointless, all of the sudden one other wave is available in from the opposite aspect. The board wobbles, as I attempt to preserve standing, I lose my stability. My physique goes stiff, my arms drop to my sides, my legs shoot straight out in entrance of me and I’m all of the sudden falling straight again on the board touchdown on my ass. I don’t transfer a muscle as I lay on the board as ridged and stiff as a statue.

I’m mendacity flat on my again staring up on the sky. It was like I had the wind out of me. Two or so meters off the shore I start to fret that the board was going to flip sending me flying off it. I attempt to sit up, now I’m in type of a V sit-up place. A cross between a crunch and a sit up. I attempt to pull myself into the sitting place, however I can’t transfer. Earlier than I resolve to attempt it once more, my unconscious takes over and I roll off the board like a Walrus. After I resurface my hair overlaying my face, like a foul comb over or the creature from the black lagoon. All I can hear is Claire Bear laughing.

“That was nice!” She stated in between giggles. “I solely want I used to be recording that one.”

“I’m glad to entertain you.”

“Solely you Cassie!” That’s one thing I used to be listening to a number of currently.  



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