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Hi there scenario normies,
Welcome to a different version of Scenario Regular!
Sunday’s story about misheard music lyrics was a number of enjoyable, particularly within the feedback part, the place a scenario normie named Sheila Moeschen, who writes Keep Curious, shared her model of Don Henley’s Boys of Summer time. I’ve by no means been an enormous fan of that music, however Sheila’s model is a game-changer. Take a look at: There’s a toilet on the precise.
An enormous thanks to new paid subscriber Jim Watts! Paid subscriptions from scenario normies like Jim are important as a result of they release time in my schedule to jot down Scenario Regular.
The caller ID didn’t acknowledge the inbound quantity, nevertheless it provided a guess: “Possibly Raul Macaroni.” I used to be intrigued, so I answered.
“Hi there,” I stated.
“Miguel?” the caller requested.
“No, that is Michael.”
“Miguel?”
“No dude. I’m Michael.”
“Miguel?”
“Effectively, form of. I suppose I could possibly be Miguel. Michael. Miguel. . OK, that is Miguel, if that’s the way you need to play this case.”
“Si Miguel. Habla espanol?”
“No, probably not. Un poco.”
Listening to that I spoke “a bit” Spanish, the person who could or could not have been Raul Macaroni, launched into his spiel. He might’ve been promoting life insurance coverage, or providing a greater mortgage fee, or accumulating donations for The Human Fund, nevertheless it was all Greek Spanish to me.
“Uh, sorry, man. I imply: lo siento. No habla. I can’t, um, have a dialog with you.”
“No?”
“No.”
“Adios,” I stated.
“OK, bye.”
Scenario Regular is many issues: a e-newsletter, a group, a house for my writing, and more and more, a clearing home for catalytic converter information. Should you don’t know, I’ve had my catalytic converter stolen two instances in lower than a 12 months. I’m purported to get my new catalytic converter this month (🤞), however within the meantime, the LAPD lastly entered the chat by arresting ONE catalytic converter thief. Right here’s a press launch from the LAPD media relations group:
Los Angeles: Los Angeles Police Division Olympic Space patrol officers arrested a person who tried to steal catalytic converters, fled the scene, and collided right into a pole.
On April 27, 2023, round 6:00 p.m., Olympic Division patrol officers responded to a radio name of a theft of catalytic converter in progress. Throughout their response, officers noticed the suspect making an attempt to steal a second catalytic converter.
The suspect entered a stolen automobile and fled the placement. Officers initiated a automobile pursuit. The suspect drove to the world of Olympic Boulevard and Harvard Boulevard the place he intentionally rammed a number of police automobiles, occupied by officers, in an try to get away. He ultimately crashed right into a pole within the space of Washington Boulevard and Budlong Avenue. The suspect deserted the disabled stolen automobile and tried to carjack one other automobile. He was unsuccessful and was taken into custody.
Hat tip to my pal Lance, who discovered this merchandise on Twitter, whereas searching for the exit to that hellscape of an internet site. To learn extra about my two unsolved catalytic converter thefts, try Scoundrels stole my catalytic converter and Return to the scene of the crime.
Christina and I’ve been screening a number of horror motion pictures recently. The opposite night time we discovered a film referred to as Llamageddon, which is a few killer llama from outer area that shoots lasers from its eyes. Clearly, we needed to watch the trailer.
After the trailer, we knew we needed to watch one thing else. So we picked Studio 666, which is concerning the Foo Fighters attempting to complete their tenth album in a haunted studio. The film was OK, however I believe it ought to’ve been referred to as Evil Dave Grohl.
A thriller by Daniel Nieh referred to as Take No Names caught my eye as a result of I’m a sucker for tales about thieves who get in over their heads and I get pleasure from a very good immigrant narrative. I’m about one-quarter of the best way into the novel, and Nieh’s voice has me hooked. From the ebook jacket👇
Victor Li is a person with out a previous. To his new employer, Mark, he’s simply an nameless employed hand to assist with the soiled work. Collectively, they break into storage models that comprise the possessions of the lately deported, pocketing no matter is value promoting. Solely Victor and his sister, Jules, know that he’s a wished man.
Amid the backpacks and suitcases, Victor makes the discover of a lifetime: a gem uncommon and worthwhile sufficient to vary his fortunes straight away. However promoting it on the sly? Almost not possible. Fortunately, its former proprietor, a girl named Track Fei, additionally left a ebook of cryptic notes—together with the identify of a gemstone supplier in Mexico Metropolis.
When Victor and Mark cross the southern border, they rapidly notice that this gem is wrapped up in a a lot bigger scheme than they imagined. In Mexico Metropolis, shadowy worldwide pursuits are jockeying for energy, and so they may have somebody with Victor’s abilities—the identical ones that bought him in hassle within the first place.
Studying Not Protected for Work will make you snicker, nevertheless it’ll additionally make you extra engaging. Don’t take my phrase for it, although.
I turned a intercourse image after studying Michael’s hilarious novel! Critically, I’m as much as my eyelids in ass—and I find it irresistible.
— Eleanor Roosevelt, former First Woman of the USA, intercourse image, and NSFW work super-fan.
the drill. I’ve bought questions, scenario normies have solutions.
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What do you assume Raul Macaroni, assuming it actually was Raul Macaroni, wished with Miguel? Get inventive along with your solutions.
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The LAPD took one catalytic converter thief off the board, however what number of stay?
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Studying the LAPD press launch, it’s apparent that the thief made a key contribution to his arrest by crashing right into a pole. Does this make the LAPD press launch a bizarre flex, or ought to Los Angeles put money into extra poles to battle crime?
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What are you watching? And does it contain killer llamas from outer area, or evil rock stars?
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What are you studying? The mannequin reply is Not Protected for Work, however I’ll settle for different solutions.
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