We’ve all had awkward blunders seared into our recollections, haunting us within the seconds proper earlier than we drift off to sleep. These awkward moments are uncomfortable and unavoidable, however what if we might get higher at dealing with them? What if these moments might truly be useful? 

In her not too long ago revealed ebook, Good Awkward: Learn how to Embrace the Embarrassing and Have fun the Cringe to Turn out to be the Bravest You, Henna Pryor makes the case for harnessing our awkwardness. She argues that embracing awkwardness is usually a highly effective catalyst for private {and professional} progress. 

Pryor shares how we will reframe these moments, which can assist us to be much less awkward. She additionally explains how adopting a brand new mindset can rework awkwardness into a chance for authenticity, regardless of the setting.

Henna Pryor says awkwardness is each subjective and common

Pryor explains it’s necessary to keep in mind that awkwardness is subjective, particularly after we attempt to label ourselves as awkward. 

“So there isn’t a such factor as a factually awkward particular person,” she says. Not solely that, however awkwardness is a common emotion inherent within the human expertise. It’s not reserved for introverts or these perceived as much less assured. Understanding and accepting this universality is step one towards embracing awkward moments. And that one that looks like they’ve by no means had a clumsy second of their life? They’ve merely mastered their comeback price.

“They’re capable of come again from these emotions lots sooner; they don’t need to get hooked by them,” Pryor explains. “If we will settle for it as a common emotion, one that everybody experiences, and begin to lay the muse when [awkwardness] does inevitably come, then it’s a lot simpler to simply accept that this isn’t simply us. It’s a human expertise.” 

Awkward doesn’t imply inept

Once we’re at work and create a clumsy second, it’s straightforward to overthink issues and assume our colleagues or purchasers discover us incompetent. The soar to make awkwardness synonymous with weak point or incompetence is dangerously straightforward. 

Nevertheless, a key distinction that Henna Pryor makes is that awkwardness and ineptitude usually are not synonymous. Whereas we might really feel awkward in sure conditions, it doesn’t essentially mirror our competence or capabilities. 

“Early within the ebook, I make the comparability that I’d by no means rent a clumsy anesthesiologist. However I’d be completely nice hiring a clumsy one, proper?” Pryor says. “So in case you are typically—at work or in your social circles—seen as competent, good, succesful, can get issues achieved and also you occur to have a clumsy second, a cringe second, or an embarrassing scenario, you’ll not typically be seen as incompetent consequently. You’ll truly typically be seen as human and sometimes, not all the time however typically, extra heat and likable due to it—since you introduced humanity to the desk.”

Awkwardness is a social emotion, and Pryor says a part of releasing the ability from these awkward moments comes all the way down to reassessing the tales we inform ourselves after awkward moments. We are able to look at the tales we’ve advised ourselves about approval and social acceptance. This includes difficult contaminative narratives and fostering a extra redemptive perspective, specializing in private progress relatively than perceived failure.

Learn how to be much less awkward: Follow makes good

Pryor additionally explains we reside in a society the place we attempt to optimize our social interactions. 

“Nowadays we actually don’t need to put ourselves in conditions which will create a clumsy or embarrassing trade,” she says, pointing to examples like ordering meals via apps like DoorDash, texting our pals from the automotive to allow them to know we’ve arrived and shutting the elevator doorways as quickly as we get in to keep away from sharing the elevator area with others.

“We more and more scale back the quantity of occasions that we now have these sorts of interactions, and it’s far too straightforward to keep away from in-person interplay with new folks,” Pryor says. 

In a society more and more designed to reduce unplanned social interactions, Pryor advocates for intentional apply. Simply as bodily muscle groups want train, our social muscle groups require common engagement. Pryor suggests beginning small, like initiating a dialog throughout a grocery retailer go to or providing a toast throughout a household dinner. These small, intentional interactions assist construct the boldness to navigate bigger, doubtlessly awkward eventualities.

“Creating moments for these little social interactions is what builds the muscle for the inevitable very human interactions the place awkwardness is more likely to happen,” she says. “But when we don’t have apply, then we can not muster the braveness to have the conversations we have to or tolerate the awkwardness we’re going to ultimately expertise within the large moments.”

Shifting your mindset: Go from avoiding awkwardness to embracing it

When studying tips on how to be much less awkward, the hot button is to shift your mindset and embrace awkwardness. As a substitute of optimizing interactions for smoothness, Pryor encourages folks to deliberately embrace encounters that invite awkwardness. By reframing these moments as alternatives for authenticity and progress, people can progressively shift their mindset from avoidance to embrace.

As we rewire our psychological pathways, viewing social interplay as a practiced ability and fostering a mindset shift, we will domesticate a singular type of confidence—one that’s each real and endearing.

Picture by Ann Rodchua/Shutterstock.com

Iona Brannon is a contract journalist primarily based within the U.S. You may learn extra of her work at ionabrannon.com.