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Selections made in Maine and Colorado to strike Donald Trump from their respective state-level ballots utilizing the Fourteenth Modification’s rebellion clause have raised the query: Ought to the previous president be disqualified from working once more? The Onion requested Individuals what they suppose.
Anya Caldwell, PR Supervisor
“If we disqualified everybody who has amassed a massive and uncontrollable following of lunatics, nobody would have the ability to run.”
Emmitt Sanders, Photographer
“Eh, I’m assured he’ll handle to destabilize democracy whether or not he’s on or off the poll.”
Carrie Gold, Canine Walker
“What’s Trump responsible of apart from enterprise fraud, sharing confidential state secrets and techniques, mishandling labeled supplies, spreading election lies, slandering voting establishments, and making an attempt to incite an rebellion?”
Angela Hardy, Chemist
“No. Trump is a dictator. Dictators shouldn’t must run.”
Casey Whitley, Trainer
“Trump misplaced his probability to be on the poll when he cowardly conceded the 2020 election.”
Frank Earnst, Unemployed
“Sure, however solely as a result of I imagine in a fringe conspiracy principle that Trump was really born in Germany.”
Greg Harden, Panorama Architect
“I belief our Supreme Courtroom to be rigged sufficient to make the suitable choice.”
Will Krissel, Graphic Designer
“Trump. Trump. Oh! You imply Kimberly Guilfoyle’s fiance’s dad?”
Janice Holt, Former White Home Intern
“He’d higher be on it. I’m solely protecting my mouth shut in trade for a Tahitian embassy gig he promised.”
Babs Jenkins, Reporter
“I don’t know who despatched you right here, however you’d higher scram. I’m chasing a sizzling, sizzling scoop and making an attempt to show to the gents within the newsroom {that a} dame can do extra than simply sit fairly and sort.”
Juan Castaneda, Insurance coverage Dealer
“That is most likely as shut as he’ll ever get to experiencing the results of his personal actions, so it’d be good to maintain that going for one more week or so.”
Deanne Marks, Beautician
“Hitler wasn’t on the U.S. presidential poll, and look how profitable he was!”
Jeff Zients, Biden Chief of Employees
“No. Since Trump will win both method, it’d be far much less embarrassing for President Biden to lose to somebody listed on the precise poll.”
Naomi Reynolds, Preschool Trainer
“It’s not good to not let others play.”
Gus LaFontaine, Chef
“On the poll, off the poll, who cares? On the finish of the day, we’re all simply gonna find yourself floatin’ in a bowl of gumbo on the Nice Huge Dinner Desk up within the sky.”
Harper Wallace, Beautician
“I believe he needs to be allowed to remain on the poll if he can efficiently ski a double black diamond.”
Ron DeSantis, Florida Governor
“No matter will get folks to love me. Please like me.”
Dan Rogers, Hen
“The principles of land don’t apply up right here. I’m ruled by a seagull named Ernest Boyce.”
Anne Craft, Librarian
“I’m afraid of the precedent it could set to carry a politician accountable for one thing he mentioned and did earlier than he died.”
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