CHICAGO—The directive to put on navy blue-and-white nautical-themed apparel going into impact instantly, a brand new costume code mandated this week by software program firm Nexus Options prohibited all clothes however little sailor fits. “Given the necessity for our office to have a extra skilled look, we’re instituting a strict sailor boy suit-only costume code,” mentioned CEO Leo Mezgale, explaining that it was vital for visiting purchasers to see that they had been working with a gaggle of valuable little darlings. “It’s unbecoming for a corporation of our stature to have workers come into the workplace with denims when you need to be carrying an ascot as an alternative. Ought to we see that you just should not have an outsized lollipop in your hand at any time, we will likely be pressured to dock your pay. We’re an organization of lovely, rosy red-cheeked sweetie pies, and we should always look the half.” At press time, a number of staff had been advised to go residence and alter right into a cuter sailor’s cap.