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On the PBS collection Antiques Roadshow, odd folks can convey of their household heirlooms to be appraised by professional vintage sellers. Typically their gadgets are price a fortune; different instances, the hosts must politely let the visitor down. When you had been to take your treasures over to “Joel’s Vintage Sales space” on NBC’s Late Night time with Conan O’Brien, nevertheless, you had been assured to get a far much less courteous response.
“It’s crap!” Conan’s announcer, Joel Godard, would shout in his velvety baritone. “Take a hike, dumbass!” was one other standard Godard response. When a distraught lady came upon that her vintage pillow was price simply 98 cents, she stated to Godard, “I believed it might be price a number of thousand {dollars}.” To which Godard snapped again, “Provided that it was filled with cocaine!”
The surly announcer all the time received his comeuppance, although. The ultimate merchandise in the course of the section would usually be some cursed historic artifact that may explode or lead to a mummy strangling him — one thing that hardly ever occurred on Antiques Roadshow. It was a sometimes foolish and surreal recurring sketch from the beloved days of Late Night time. And since reminiscences are priceless — even to the dastardly Godard — each the announcer and longtime Conan author Brian Stack stopped by our interview sales space to share how they infused the bit with such worth.
Joel Godard, Announcer on Late Night time with Conan O’Brien: Oh, I do know nothing about antiques. I don’t assume I’ve ever even watched Antiques Roadshow. I liked doing “Joel’s Vintage Sales space,” although; they had been lots of enjoyable.
Brian Stack, Author on Late Night time with Conan O’Brien: Paradoxically sufficient, I watch Antiques Roadshow rather a lot lately as a result of I’m a middle-aged man and it’s necessary, however again once I wrote the “Joel’s Vintage Sales space” bits for Late Night time I hadn’t watched it in any respect. I knew it was standard, however I used to be below the mistaken impression that the appraisers had been form of snotty and dismissive. In actuality, whereas they’re sincere, they’re very variety, heat folks.
Anyway, from that mistaken impression, I received this concept to use the premise to Joel and make him an entire jerk who would inform folks their stuff was nugatory and to “hit the bricks” or one thing. Joel’s an extremely good man, and over the course of Late Night time, all of us realized that Joel was prepared to do something, so it was all the time enjoyable to think about new concepts for him. He all the time dedicated to no matter we threw at him.
Godard: We began this sketch again in 1999, earlier than Andy Richter left the present. I do know Conan favored it, however I don’t assume we did it once more till a number of years later, after Andy left. I ended up doing increasingly sketches after he’d left.
When you watch the “Joel’s Vintage Sales space” sketches on YouTube, there are some acquainted faces bringing me their antiques. There’s a few of our writers, like Andy Blitz and Allison Silverman. There was additionally one with Jack McBrayer, years earlier than 30 Rock. In that one, after telling him his household’s vintage serving dish was nugatory, I punched him within the face and stated, “Again to the cotton fields, Gomer!” He was on the present rather a lot again then. He grew up close to the place I did in Georgia, and in the future, as a present, I left him an RC Cola and a Moon Pie — that’s as down-home as you will get.
There’s one other one the place I received strangled by a mummy on the finish. I believe it was Stack who performed the mum. I can’t bear in mind.
Stack: I’m 95 % certain that mummy is me. He strikes like me and form of has my posture. That’s additionally why I performed Frankenstein a lot on Late Night time.
Godard: The ending of the mum one is humorous as a result of he’s solely speculated to strangle me for a number of seconds, however Conan dragged it out for nearly a minute. He held off on the business break and saved having the digital camera reduce to us again and again as I used to be getting strangled. Conan liked to do stuff like that, and the gleefulness with which he’d tease us was such enjoyable. Conan was all the time at his finest when he went off-book.
Sadly, it’s not on-line, however my very favourite section of “Joel’s Vintage Sales space” was one the place a girl introduced me this heirloom and I examined it and stated, “Oh my, have you learnt what that is?” Then I pulled out slightly signal that simply stated “CRAP.”
After that sketch, I took that “CRAP” signal and hung it above the mirror in my announce sales space. It stayed there for all the remainder of Late Night time. It was my little means of maintaining my ego in verify — it was my announcer humility equalizer.
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