GREEN BAY, WI—In an act demonstrating clear confidence and pleasure in his personal value, self-respecting man Evan Landry reportedly heated up his leftovers from Garcia’s Mexican Restaurant within the microwave on Monday. “I may simply dig into this leftover burrito bowl chilly, however I’m a grown man and I really like myself,” stated Landry, explaining to reporters that he deserved higher than to eat the unheated stays of refried beans, chipotle hen, and brown rice that had coagulated into three separate clumps within the takeout container in a single day. “ what? I’m going to take this out of the container and throw it on a plate. I would even use actual steel silverware. It’s actually essential to take care of your self. It’s what separates us from the animals.” At press time, Landry had opened the microwave after eight seconds and begun rabidly consuming the still-cold meal over the sink.